Spicin' It Up: Father's Day Baby Girl

I realize with every passing year how much I love and appreciate my  Daddy. I have written of him in several of my books, and joined authors  Dr. James Dobson, Philip Yancy, Rick Warren, Bruce Wilkinson, Gary Smalley, and John Trent in Embrace of Father. They also have heartwarming stories of their fathers, as do many of you. So in honor of great fathers everywhere, this is an excerpt from my book, It’s Your Turn Now, celebrating Daddy’s “Love Letter” written many years ago.

I was born on Father’s Day,1950, to wonderful parents. Somehow being born on Father’s Day immediately made me “Daddy’s Baby Girl!” For twelve years I could do no wrong; then came my terrible teens! I wish I could take back those rebellious years, for I would never have chosen to be a high school dropout and runaway – especially back in the late ’60s in my small Beaver Cleaver hometown of Clarksville, Mo.

In spite of wonderful parents and a loving family, I became a compulsive over-eater, over-drinker and over-anything else I could find to do. I don’t know why I chose this pathway, but at 250 pounds, and full of self-loathing, I also ran away several times.  This “Love Letter” was written by my precious father the last time I ran away; however, I wouldn’t receive it until twenty years later:

My Darling Baby Girl,

I write this as you have threatened to run away again. I am leaving this on your pillow with the hopes that you will get it before you leave. I know at seventeen you’re a young woman and we can’t stop you from going. Mommy and I have asked ourselves a thousand times where we went wrong…where we failed you. I would give anything if we could go back to the days when you were Daddy’s baby girl and would snuggle up on my lap, bringing all your hurts and wounds to me to “make better.” I only blame myself for all that has gone wrong and would give my very life for another chance to make it right. I didn’t see soon enough how much you were hurting. We have prayed and cried for you more than you will ever know and have asked if we were too strict, too lenient, too giving or not giving enough. All we know is that we love you and want you to please reconsider before you leave again. Let’s work it out one more time. Dearest Debbie Girl, we love you with no strings attached. God brought you to us and no matter what, you’ll always be Daddy’s baby girl. When you read this, no matter how late, please come talk to me.

Always,

Your Loving Daddy

He didn’t know that night I had already run away again and wouldn’t return for six weeks. The letter disappeared, yet I returned once again to unconditional love. However, this time with much-needed boundaries, and wise counsel, and my parents’ help, I was reinstated in school, and paradoxically went on to complete college and became – of all things – a high school teacher! I initiated many programs for at-risk youth and helped with our first Alternative School for troubled teens. I have come to believe a quote from Genesis 50, “What the enemy meant for harm, God will use for good.”

Twenty years later, happily married, and having lost  100 pounds, I was being honored at the Missouri State Teacher of the Year banquet. Sitting between my husband and Dad, along with the rest of my family, I was rehearsing my upcoming speech when Mom gave me a beautifully wrapped gift box. Proudly thinking I might find a pendant or medal with the inscription “Teacher of the Year,” or “Wonderful Daughter,” I instead opened the box to find nothing but a yellowed, crinkled, tear-stained, faded letter dated twenty years earlier, hand written by my loving daddy. I wept uncontrollably and with mascara streaming down my face, I said, “Mother! How could you give this to me at a time like this -right now when I have to give a speech!”  She took my hand in hers, patted it and sweetly replied, “I knew there would be just the right time!”  I realized for the first time all my parents had gone through in the midst of my own selfishness.

I quickly improvised an entirely different speech and through tears read to the audience my Daddy’s letter written twenty years before. I explained that had it not been for my parents, I would never have finished high school or become a teacher helping other at-risk youth. In my closing, I thanked the Father above for my earthly father who was finally able to see the fruit of his unconditional love.

Upon my retirement from teaching high school, I was one of five selected nationally for the National Teachers Hall of Fame. Dad was there as I read “his letter.” For 10 years I hosted a radio talk show where I had numerous calls from parents and teens to whom I also offered hope and often read “his letter.”  My parents often accompany me as I travel around the world as a motivational speaker, and I always share Daddy’s letter, and tears flow whenever I read it.

Nearly seventy years ago, Dad and Mom vowed for “better or worse.” When asked their secret of success, Dad teasingly says, “Serving as a Navy Pilot in WWII was nothing compared to Deb’s teen years!” In private, he still cuddles me, and says I was the best Father’s Day present ever. This weekend, I will celebrate both my birthday and Father’s Day in the embrace of my 91-year-old daddy, who still calls me “Daddy’s Baby Girl.”

Happy Father’s Day to my Daddy and all you fathers – especially those who had to put up with kids like me!

Debra Peppers, a professional speaker for 25 years, was one of only five inducted into the National Teachers Hall of Fame upon her retirement from Lindbergh High School. A member of the National Speakers Association, she has traveled to all 50 states and 60 countries teaching others that if she can go from being a 250-pound high school dropout, to Teacher of the Year there is hope for every child and adult. For info, visit www.pepperseed.org 

If you would like a copy of the book The Embrace of a Father, by Bethany House Publishers, you can go to your local bookstore, Amazon.com or contact Dr. Peppers directly at http://www.pepperseed.org. Other tributes she has published include, Thanks, Dad in the Chicken Soup series, Living Your Dreams, Dr. Peppers’ Pepper-Uppers, God Allows U-Turns, The Master’s Hand, and her own autobiography, “It’s Your Turn Now.”