I'll Be Seeing You ...

One of the most popular love songs of the WWII era included the words, “I’ll be looking at the moon, but I’ll be seeing you.”

Through the many battles of the 1940s, many young lovers were comforted to know that although they were thousands of miles and a sea apart, they were looking at and dreaming on the same moon.

Because my dad was in the Navy and would be shipped out in 1945, he and his lovely bride were married in a small ceremony in September of that year. Today Dad is 88 and Mom is 86, and they are honestly more in love than they were way back then. Of course theirs is not the passionate physical love they once had; theirs is the forever kind of selfless love that few marriages seem to truly experience these days.

When WWII came to an end and my parents settled down in a small town, there were still a few times when they had to be separated due to circumstances. Mom chose to have her three babies back in the big city where her mother lived, and she told us that at night she could look out the window and see the moon, knowing Dad would be doing the same. Through the years there would be business trips, extended family separations for babies, anniversaries and weddings. But my parents always said their marriage was, ”as constant as the moon.”

Although Dad has had a series of strokes and several recent surgeries, he has always kept his sense of humor. As a matter of fact, he maintains that humor is one of the keys to a long successful marriage.

When my parents celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary, many people asked him what advice he would give young husbands embarking on marriage. Without skipping a beat, he said just memorize and repeat two little words, “Yes, Dear. Yes, Dear, Yes Dear.” Then my brother, who is a confirmed bachelor, always chimes in, “Dad’s parents were married 70 years, and Mom and Dad 65; my oldest sister has been married 45 years, and my youngest sister, 40. So I certainly believe in the institution of marriage; I just have never been institutionalized.”

When dad had a recent extended stay in the hospital, every night as visiting hours were ending, he and Mom after a goodnight kiss would both look out the window searching for the moon, and together quietly sing, “I’ll Be Seeing You…” Then Dad would become a little teary and say, “I thank God for the most beautiful wonderful wife in the world.”

When they took the vow “for better or for worse,” my parents have indeed lived it. Through financial trials, illness, loss of loved ones, and all of the normal trials of life, they have never stopped putting each other first, sharing the gift of unconditional love. Mom has readily accepted having to help Dad get in his wheelchair, take out his dentures and assist in bathroom duties. And dad has apologized to her for taking all her time and energy, which he would have eagerly done for her if the tables had been reversed. They have certainly been marriage role models for their children, grandchildren and all who have known them through the years.

Besides humor and unconditional love, the third and most important element that cements their marriage is their shared faith. They have rarely missed a Sunday in church through the years and every morning and night they still pray together. It is through their shared faith that they have the ability to talk of the future, and even impending death. But it is with hope and joy that they are actually able to talk about and even look forward to the next life.

We children will undoubtedly have beautiful words to say about whoever goes first. But one thing I know for sure; before the casket is closed, whoever is left will have one last opportunity for a farewell kiss on the cheek and those last very important words, “I’ll be Seeing You!” And they will.

Debra Peppers, a professional speaker for 25 years, was one of only five inducted into the National Teachers Hall of Fame upon her retirement from Lindbergh High School. A member of the National Speakers Association, she has traveled to all 50 states and 60 countries teaching others that if she can go from being a 250-pound high school dropout, to Teacher of the Year there is hope for every child and adult. For info, visit www.pepperseed.org